In our series on leadership attributes, we now turn to perhaps an underappreciated attribute – listening. Leaders are good listeners. I would go even further and say that listening is an underappreciated skill for everyone, not just leaders. For example, when I was working full-time and attending seminary, I was constantly tired. My mind was going in all directions about work and my studies. My wife Tammy and I would regularly meet at a restaurant for an early dinner after work before I would begin studying in the evening. More than once in the middle of a conversation, she would say “You haven’t heard a word that I’ve said, have you?” She was right. I was distracted, thinking about what had happened at work that day, or what I needed to do that evening, whether it was reading, writing a paper or studying for an exam. Whatever the reason, my lack of good listening showed a lack of respect for my wife.
Leaders need to demonstrate focused – not distracted – listening, whether it is with their team, peers, or customers. Too often, I have found myself not listening as closely and intently as I should to a conversation, but instead formulating in my mind how I will respond when it was my turn to speak. But Proverbs 18:13 tells us:
If one gives an answer before he hears,
it is his folly and shame.
Leaders need to listen intently, making good eye contact with whoever is speaking. Whereas I wasn’t showing Tammy respect by not listening well, a leader should show respect by giving the speaker their full attention, not checking their phones, for example, and looking into the eyes of whoever is speaking.
A leader’s body language is also a way in which to show that they are listening intently. For example, lean forward and nod at appropriate times. Learn to ask confirming questions, such as “What I hear you saying is….” Taking notes is another way you can show that you are engaged in the conversation.
Listening intently to those that are talking to you, demonstrates that you are open to, and respect what they are saying. Proverbs 12:15 tells us:
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.
It shows that you welcome their thoughts, and they will feel valued. As a leader, depending on the situation, it may also help if you speak less and listen more.
As a leader, do you listen to what your team members have to say on the issues confronting your team or organization, or do you already have your mind made up? Servant leaders are good listeners, and always open to the thoughts of those they work with.
This is an Adapted Excerpt From My Book “A LEADER WORTH FOLLOWING:
40 Key Leadership Attributes and Applications to Master”.
