You may be aware of a recent media firestorm regarding a respected pastor, who had just celebrated forty years at his church. The controversy dates to last summer, and some counsel pastor Alistair Begg, and host of the Truth for Life radio program, gave to a grandmother that he had not met before.
In short, the grandmother had a grandson who had invited her to his wedding to be married to a transgender person. The grandmother asked Begg if she, a Christian, could attend the wedding. Begg replied that the grandmother could attend the wedding, and bring a gift, so long as it was made clear she is not in agreement with her grandson biblically with the marriage or homosexuality.
You can listen to the program at the link below, or here’s a transcript also:
https://www.truthforlife.org/resources/sermon/christian-manifesto-interview/
“And in very specific areas this comes across. I mean, you and I know that we field questions all the time that go along the lines of “My grandson is about to be married to a transgender person, and I don’t know what to do about this, and I’m calling to ask you to tell me what to do”—which is a huge responsibility.
And in a conversation like that just a few days ago—and people may not like this answer—but I asked the grandmother, “Does your grandson understand your belief in Jesus?”
“Yes.”
“Does your grandson understand that your belief in Jesus makes it such that you can’t countenance in any affirming way the choices that he has made in life?”
“Yes.”
I said, “Well then, okay. As long as he knows that, then I suggest that you do go to the ceremony. And I suggest that you buy them a gift.”
“Oh,” she said, “what?” She was caught off guard.
I said, “Well, here’s the thing: your love for them may catch them off guard, but your absence will simply reinforce the fact that they said, ‘These people are what I always thought: judgmental, critical, unprepared to countenance anything.’”
Begg’s comments came in the context of promoting his most recent book The Christian Manifesto: Jesus’ Life-Changing Words from the Sermon on the Plain, an excellent book, and one of my favorites for 2023. For whatever reason, this exchange did not make the news until recently. And when it did, the reaction was strong and immediate, including one major radio network cancelling Truth for Life, and Begg no longer speaking at John MacArthur’s Shepherd’s Conference. When Begg refused the calls to repent for his counsel to the grandmother, the reaction to Begg’s counsel on social media was harsh, particularly from the Reformed community.
In response, in late January, Begg preached a sermon “Compassion or Condemnation” at his church. I would encourage you to listen to the sermon here. Begg stated that his pastoral counsel to the grandmother was based on Jesus’ command for Christians to love even those they disagree with or disapprove of.
Since then, many articles have been written about why Christians should not attend LGBT weddings. My concern is how quickly people and ministries were to cancel Begg despite decades of faithful service as pastor and teacher. It would be one thing if Begg had abandoned his biblical view on sexuality. He has not. He has made this clear in two sermons that ran on Truth for Life in late 2022 on Romans 1 God Gave Them Up part 1, and part 2.
Personally, I disagree with Begg’s advice to the grandmother. I do not believe that I could attend a same-sex wedding and celebrate with the couple involved. Begg admitted that others on the pastoral team at his church also disagree with him on this. That’s not really my point here. My issue is how quickly some are to cancel a faithful pastor over one piece of counsel that he gave to a grandmother.
My wife Tammy and I were introduced to Begg at the 1997 Ligonier National Conference and have been blessed by his preaching and teaching since that time on Truth for Life and his appearances at conferences such as Sing! While I may disagree with his counsel in this situation, I continue to trust him as a faithful Bible teacher. But some still will only be satisfied with his repentance for his counsel.
There is no one more concerned about orthodox doctrine than I am, and we should address error when we see it. But while I am not surprised, I am disappointed with how many in the evangelical/Reformed community have tried to cancel Begg over his counsel to this grandmother.
What do you think? Where do you stand on these issues? You might be helped by this Truth Unites video “What Critiques of Alistair Begg are Missing” from Gavin Ortlund, author of Finding the Right Hills to Die On: The Case for Theological Triage.

February 12, 2024 at 4:34 pm
Hey Bill! Thanks for writing this. Breaks my heart what Alistair is going through. He’s an encouragement to me in the midst of his trials, I find comfort in my own!
February 13, 2024 at 10:26 am
Thank you Ben. So good hearing from you. Hope all is well!
Blessings,
Bill and Tammy
February 14, 2024 at 10:01 pm
Not sure what I would do in terms of attending a grand child’s wedding. I know I would make clear I love my grand child while I disagree with their choice. Rosario Butterfield was won over with love from a pastor. I completely agree that the social media cancel culture is over-reacting to one piece of advice from a very solid, Biblical teacher. Same type of thing is happening with the “He gets us” ad on the Super Bowl looking for the splinter in the eye of the creators rather than seeing the log in their own eye and choosing not to think about the outreach they are trying to create for Christ. My Alma mater is being attacked in social media for being too “woke” and from others for dogmatically staying true to doctrine and not being woke enough! Social media could be a tool for good, but sadly it is adding to the decaying and polarized culture in America.
February 17, 2024 at 1:01 pm
Very well said, Scott. I appreciate your words of wisdom.
Blessings,
Bill
April 2, 2024 at 5:42 pm
I was baptized at Parkside church, and am a member. I moved out of the area some time ago. I have always found Alistair to be a solid and trustworthy Biblical teacher. I also am a grandmother. If the grandmother did not go to the wedding, but still has contact with her grandchild, is that in some sense approving of her grandsons chosen lifestyle? Or should she eliminate all contact since she does not approve of his choice. Is that what the critics are saying ? And if she, or any one else in a similar situation are not denouncing the relationship, isn’t that the same as accepting it?
April 3, 2024 at 8:59 am
Hi Kathleen. Thanks for writing. The context of Alistair’s comments was in speaking about his latest book “The Christian Manifesto”, an excellent book. His counsel was as a pastor and a grandfather. His critics believe he should not have counseled the grandmother to go to the wedding, which potentially could have severed their relationship. Personally, if I had been in the same situation, I would not have gone to the wedding, nor sent them a gift, but would assure them of my love without affirming the decisions or vows they have made.
Blessings,
Bill
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