As we continue in our series on leadership attributes, we now look at compassion and empathy. Not long ago, I was talking with some friends, and they mentioned a leader at the organization that we all used to work at. The perception was that this leader was a person who had no compassion. That was a particularly striking comment, as the organization had been going through a difficult time, resulting in the reduction of a significant number of employees. Leaders, let it never be said of you that you lack compassion.
Compassion is closely related to empathy. Compassion is demonstrating concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others, while empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Both are essential traits for good leaders, especially those who aspire to be servant leaders.
The traits of compassion and empathy are often demonstrated by our presidents after a natural disaster. We saw President Trump visit California after the devastating wildfires. Think of President George W. Bush. He demonstrated strong leadership by visiting the first responders at the 9/11 site in New York City. But just a few years later he was strongly criticized for not showing compassion and empathy when he flew over the devastation in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina.
Throughout my career I had excellent leaders demonstrate compassion and empathy to me. I’ll share just four instances that stand out:
- Early in my career, my manager, after hearing that my grandfather had just died, asked me into his office for some tender conversation, after which he prayed with me.
- When my wife Tammy had her second operation to have a brain tumor removed, my director expressed genuine concern that he couldn’t give me more time off. He gave me as much as the policy permitted.
- A few years ago, after my father-in-law died, one of my former leaders would go out of her way to stop by my office to see how my mother-in-law and the rest of the family was doing.
- The last leader I had in my career provided leadership during the difficult time in our organization that I referenced above in the first paragraph. She was the perfect one to lead us during this time, making a point to hold special sessions with her entire function so that everyone could share with her what was on their mind, their questions, concerns and fears.
There are countless ways that a servant leader can demonstrate compassion and empathy to those they lead. Below are just four examples:
- When a member of your team finds out that they weren’t selected for a position that they interviewed for and felt would be a perfect fit for them.
- When a member of your team has something go badly in their personal life (death, medical issues, trouble with the children, finances, etc.). If possible, try to attend the visitation or funeral for a team member’s family member.
- When a member of your team doesn’t get the performance evaluation or promotion that they were hoping for and feel that they deserve.
- When your organization is going through major changes that may result in a reduction in personnel. This is an important time to be visible and available to your team members. See my article 5 Ways to be a Servant Leader During Times of Significant Change.
There are many more examples I could give. One that stands out from a few years ago was when a leader I worked with, who was also a mom, showed compassion to a younger woman on the team who was going through her first pregnancy, and then demonstrated incredible empathy when the young woman lost her child.
Compassion, as well as empathy, are essential traits for good leaders. What other ways can you think of for leaders to demonstrate these traits?