Coram Deo ~

Looking at contemporary culture from a Christian worldview

5 More Keys to a Great Marriage

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Recently I shared 5 keys to a great marriage. My wife Tammy and I have been married for almost 39 years now. We weren’t blessed with children, but we’ve been blessed with a great marriage. Here are 5 more keys to a great marriage:

  1. Have a regular “Date Night”. It is important, whether you have children or not, to have a weekly “Date Night”. For us, during most of our marriage our “Date Night” was on Friday night, and included a movie and dinner. We always found this to be a good way to transition from a busy work week into the weekend. A “Date Night” should be scheduled on your calendar. Otherwise, it’s too easy to forget about it.
  2. Look for ways to sacrificially love your spouse. This doesn’t have to be anything extravagant, like the saying goes “it’s the thought that counts”. A few suggestions would be: warm their towel in the dryer and then hand it to them when they get out of the shower; fill up their car with gas; fix dinner, or take them out for dinner as a surprise; fold the clothes in the dryer; rub their neck and shoulders. And don’t forget to thank them for the chores they do around the house. You get the idea. This will let your spouse know that you were thinking of them.
  3. Talk to your spouse before making any commitments or decisions. Communication is huge in every walk of life, and it is especially so in marriage. We have made it a practice not to commit to anything before talking to the other. Not all couples do this, and we have seen the consequences. This practice has worked well for us through the years, and helped us avoid alot of disagreements.
  4. Be willing to compromise. This takes humility and being willing to put the desires of your spouse above your own. One way this played out practically for us, and probably just about every other couple, is where to spend the holidays. For example, if you can’t be at both of your families for Christmas each year, a good compromise would be to rotate where you spend the holidays from year to year. Of lesser importance is the movies and television programs you watch. For example, it wouldn’t be fair to Tammy if we watched St. Louis Cardinal baseball every night and she didn’t get to see programs that she enjoyed. There should be good communication and compromise.
  5. We all sin and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). We are going to mess up and let our spouses down. When we do so, we need to sincerely apologize and ask for forgiveness. When we give forgiveness, we should not bring up the reason for the forgiveness in the heat of an argument. Christians of all people have been forgiven much, so we should also forgive our spouses when they sin against us.

There are many keys to a great marriage. I’ve now shared 10 of them. What others would you add to this list?

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Author: Bill Pence

I’m Bill Pence ~ married to my best friend for more than 38 years and a St. Louis Cardinals fan. Before retiring I served as a manager at a Fortune 50 company; I'm a graduate of Covenant Theological Seminary and in leadership at my local church. I enjoy speaking about calling, vocation and work. I am a life-long learner and have a passion to help people develop to their fullest potential and to utilize their strengths more fully. I am an INTJ on Myers-Briggs, 3 on the Enneagram, my top five Strengthsfinders themes are: Belief, Responsibility, Learner, Harmony and Achiever, and my two StandOut strengths roles are Creator and Equalizer. My favorite book is the Bible, with Romans my favorite book and 2 Corinthians 5:21 my favorite verse. Some of my other favorite books are Don’t Waste Your Life by John Piper, The Holiness of God by R.C. Sproul, The Prodigal Son (originally titled A Tale of Two Sons) by John MacArthur and Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I enjoy Christian hip-hop/rap music, with Lecrae, Trip Lee and Andy Mineo being some of favorite artists.

2 thoughts on “5 More Keys to a Great Marriage

  1. You may not have been blessed with biological children, but even by your writing, you’re mentoring the next generation in the family of God. Thanks brother! 🙂

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